Patsy Jean Shaffer, 81, passed away on Saturday, April 28th, 2018

Patsy's life was not an easy one, but one she wanted her family to share.

She was born in Daingerfield, Texas in 1936 just as America started experiencing the debilitating recession of the Great Depression. With a population of under 900, Daingerfield was an economically depressed little town and remained so until the mid 50's. Unfortunately, her birth father passed away from pneumonia before her 3rd birthday (two weeks before penicillin was released). Her mother then turned to alcohol and later met her second husband, with whom she had three boys. Patsy was not considered part of the family after that.

By the age of ten, Patsy was the 'mother-figure' to her brothers and would protect them as best she could from brutal beatings they would all receive when her mother and husband decided to return after long absences away from home. To better her circumstances, Patsy joined the school band and taught herself to read music and play the oboe by sneaking out at night into the backwoods to practice (so as not to be heard by her stepfather). She became so proficient that within eight months she was offered a full-ride music scholarship to a near-by college "if" she graduated high school. When her mother learned of her accomplishment, Patsy was immediately locked in the house, banned from attending school and physically/emotionally forced to stay home to raise her brothers (while suffering extreme abuse by the hands of her stepfather). At thirteen, the only alternative left her, was to run away.

Many years passed in survival mode, but slowly she found work and tried to put herself through school, her first and only love. Eventually, she met her first husband, Don Hoeller and married at seventeen. Together they had a son. Don abandoned Patsy and their toddler son, leaving them financially destitute. Without enough money for food, she had to put her son up for adoption to save him from starving. A little while later she found herself standing behind him and his new parents in a grocery store line. She held her breath with tears falling as he recognized her and smiled. He never said a word, but through his gaze and smile, she felt his love and forgiveness. A small, quiet moment that she later recognized as a gift from the Holy Spirit.

In 1960, she met and married Paul Vreswyk and together they had a daughter. The family moved to Denver, CO., where she supported him through college and waited for her turn to go to school once he graduated. After graduating, he abruptly moved to Florida (with his mistress) leaving Patsy with a severe ADHD child and zero opportunity to pursue her educational goals…again.

Struggling as a single parent, Patsy found work at the Air Force Accounting and Finance Center and quickly climbed the ranks. She was appreciated for her skills, and proceeded to win many awards for her intuitive process management ideas and innate accounting/finance abilities; however, without the coveted degree, she was passed up for many significant financial promotions (which often found her training her bosses and doing their work late into the night). After fourteen years (with minimal salary increases), she decided to apply her advanced skill set in the Real Estate trade. She received her broker's license in record time and opened Aspen Leaf Realty company in Fairplay, CO in the mid '70's. She met and married Al Rueck in 1982 and together (he with a construction company and her real estate company), they developed housing and office complexes all along the front range until their divorce in 1991.

In early 2001, Patsy moved to Houston to be closer to her daughter. She then moved with them to Montana/North Dakota in 2006 (following the devastation of Hurricane Katrina along the Gulf states). After suffering a stroke in 2009, she moved to The Good Samaritan nursing home in Mott, ND. Good-Sam became her second family and watched over her with love, unconditional respect, and warmth. Patsy was often found wheeling her way down the halls, kissing hands, and saying "God Bless You" to every passer-by, or joining the staff in their offices who kindly let her stay to 'oversee their work.'

She passed quietly in her sleep in the mid-morning hours of April 28th and floated into the healing arms of her loving Savior. Her second family held a bedside prayer vigil, again showering her with love and peace.

As for the lateness of the obituary, it took some time to complete as following her instruction to share 'almost' everything was difficult in writing (much was left out).

To her family, she is nothing short of a hero for intentionally softening and eventually breaking the chains of extreme abuse not only for her brothers (whom she outlived) but her children as well. Every day she exemplified for them, that success is nothing more than having the strength of 'living up to one's potential under any circumstance.' She hoped that by sharing her story, others might also find the strength to break the bonds of physical/emotional abuse, even if it takes a lifetime. Patsy wished to be cremated, without the "…fuss of a funeral service."

She is survived by her daughter Elizabeth Vreswyk of Loveland, CO, and granddaughter Lauren DeSpain who is attending UND in Grand Forks, ND and the loving staff at Good-Sam whom she considered close family members as well.